“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.” ― Bil Keane
Time flies and the past is behind us now. With the times that we’ve left behind, there are several trials and tribulations we go through in life; we learn from our mistakes and move on. However, there are moments we’ve had in the past that we just can’t let go of. We’re brought down, made emotional and we cry thinking about things that should never have happened to us.
But, it’s not the past that defines us. As psychologist Carl Jung says: “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” We all choose to become what we desire and want and we should not regret about the things that did not go well in the past as they only make our shoulders heavy and hold us back from a cheerful life.
Here are 10 simple steps to let go of the past.
1. Recognize that it’s time to move on
The hardest part of letting go of the past is trying to make decisions to move on. Yes, it’s pretty hard to make new choices that can overcome our misdeeds in life but you should always remember that you have a future to share. You’ve already paid for the past and if that’s not working out for you, you need to recognize that it’s time to move on.
2. Make a list of things you can “re-do”
Life does not give you a second chance all the time. But, what you can do is make a list of things that you would have done differently if you could go back in time and do it again. Making such list will help you to learn from your mistakes while also giving ideas on what things should have been done right. You also develop a skill to plan things and this will surely help you shape your future goals in life.
3. Believe in yourself
Pain and suffering are parts of everyone’s life and if you believe in yourself, you’ll overcome the grief sooner than everyone else. All you need to do is make sure you know what you are doing and it’ll not let you hold back in forgetting your past. When you start believing yourself, you develop a positive vibe around you and these feelings you gain will help to overshadow the mistakes and bad memories that haunt you.
If you’re frustrated and depressed because of things that happened in the past and nothing worked to change your feelings towards it, you need to start meditating. Find stillness, remain calm and take long breathes. With meditation, you get to keep yourself away from the busy and fast paced noisy world. You keep yourself away from distractions and make yourself at ease with meditation.
5. Live in the present
If you don’t enjoy the life that you are living, you future is certainly going to be dark. You should have no regrets that eat up your thinking and you need to live in present. What’s done is done and there’s no going back. Go on a hike with your friends or dance, sing and do what ever you love to do. It’s make you lively and energize you to focus on things that you need to accomplish right now.
6. Forget the fear
If you’ve ever failed in the past, chances are it’s developed a sense of fear in you. If you can’t overcome the fear of your failing and wrong-doing, you’ll get tensed and things won’t work out smoothly. Become a challenger and forget the fear. Think about things that you’re afraid to do and try to perform them, one at a time and overcome the fear. If it’s still difficult, find someone you believe to help you overcome your fear.
7. Don’t forget your morals and values
If you’re to perform better in life, you need to stick to your morals and values. There’s no denying that the bad events in life develop a feeling of change in us and changes are not good every time. Stick to your beliefs and morals to develop a self-esteem and pride. This plays a huge role in order to develop a positive attitude towards your life.
Mistakes happen but holding back and remembering the same thing again and again will do nothing good to anyone. If you’ve made mistakes, apologize, console and forgive yourself. If it’s your close ones who’ve hurt you in the past and you just can’t let go of it, acknowledge the fact that they are the one’s you trusted back. You need to learn to forgive and move on to find happiness.
9. Let go of anger and resentment
Anger and resentment are toxic and these feelings will keep you enmeshed in the past. It’ll bring you down to the ground and hurt you more. Letting go of anger will help you to develop positive attitude and you might want to punch on the wall or a pillow, or scream; do it. Vent your anger and frustration. It might take time, but after you leave anger and resentment, you’ll start feeling fresh.
10. Realize that you did what you could do best
Perceptions shape our feelings and actions. The way you respond to what you did in your past will help you decide on your present and future. If you’ve a feeling of guilt or remorse at things you could have done better, realize that you did what you could do best at that moment. If you acknowledge the fact, you’ll also learn that your effort was never intended to go in vain. This will keep you motivated to improve and thrive for the better in the future.